Saturday, January 3, 2015

at the bottom looking up

Well I have heard that in order for someone to change they must hit rock bottom and realize that they have no choice but to change..... last night was my rock bottom. No I am not recovering from some addiction or disease, well now that I think about it maybe I am in a way, I am FAT. Yes I know that when most people say that they are just saying it and are wanting the response "You are not fat". That's not what I want. I digress, Last night the wifey, Joey and I spent some time together, I have found lately that I have been having a ton of pain in my back, and hips, also my knees are hurting from time to time, this pain has been limiting me such as it hurts to carry Joey, or even worse put her in her carseat - this is strike one - The only thing is can determine is the extra weight I am carrying around. I don't think my body likes it. I know I sure don't.

Next, we went to Academy and I was looking for some new boots - this was strike two - I could not bend over far enough to pull the boots up and breathe at the same time, for most people this might be "normal" but this is the first time in my life that this has happened to me. I was disgusted, felt a little depressed, but a pushed on. 

After Academy, we went to eat (we all have to do it) and walked around the mall. I found myself breathing hard just walking, WALKING?? really?? I ran a marathon a few years ago and now I can't walk??? That was strike three.

As many of you already know, 3 strikes and you are out, but I think of this as tee-ball or something since the coach let me try again. 

On the way home I began to realize that I was having a hard time just breathing while sitting in the car. Not in a painful way like having a heart attack or something like that, just pressure or something, It is hard to describe. i could just tell as I was breathing it was like my chest could not move because of my stomach. THATS STRIKE 4 - no more mercy. 

When we got home I began thinking about what I was going to do. I don't want Joey to grow up without her "DaDa" or my wife to have to go on without me. I need to be a good example for them both. 

I tend to be motivated by being the underdog, so I started thinking about it, I am the youngest person at the company I work for, I am also 1 of about 6 men in the company. I am totally not the most in shape of the 6. I would say I am probably teetering between 5 and 6. being the youngest I should be in pretty good shape considering I am only 27 almost 28 years old. This is pathetic - I am sick of it. 

So here I am it is 6:30 on a SATURDAY and I have already gone to the gym, yes I got up at 4:00 on a SATURDAY and went to the gym. Everyone else is still asleep including the dog. As I was walking out of my bedroom I felt good when my wife asked "what are you doing" and my reply was "going to the gym" she followed up by saying "it is Saturday" without a beat I responded " I AM JUST AS FAT ON SATURDAY AS I AM DURING THE WEEK" (no I didn't scream this at her I just put it in caps because I thought it was well played HAHA)

I am setting out to change, I want to change, I need to change, I MUST CHANGE.